everything will be ok in the end

Thursday, September 28, 2006

deep thoughts...

So last night I'm in yoga class being all zen and fabulous, doing my poses perfectly, silently congratulating myself the entire time on my amazing yoga skills. I'm in the front row because I like to have no one between me and the instructor, I'm wearing my cutest outfit, black pants with a pink stripe and matching pink top, my toes have a perfect french manicure, my hair is fabulous, everything is perfect.

Towards the end of the class, this thought comes into my mind... 'what am I going to wear tomorrow' and I start to feel very concerned because all of the outfits I start thinking about are either dirty, or I've worn them recently. So I'm mentally flippling through my closet and I'm finding nothing suitable for my day which includes going to work, antique shopping and then dinner with a friend. Nothing I can think of suits all 3 purposes. At this point I've pretty much stopped paying attention to the instructor, I'm following along, but I'm really not listening, I'm just copying her and busily planning my outfit. She has us do Warrior 1 pose and then we are to slowly move into Warrior 3.

Well, I do my Warrior 1, then I move to Warrior 3, but as I do, I'm starting to really get a good outfit put together in my mind, I'm completely lost in thought deciding which accessories I will wear with the outfit when...

CRASH! - yup, I fall, and not a graceful stumble which people sometimes do in yoga class, no, a full on fall to the ground, a fall so disruptive that everyone stops what they're doing and turns to look at me, the teacher even stops for a second to ask me if I'm ok, which I am, although my ego is now severely bruised.

How embarrasing, and to top it all off, the outfit I had been planning, the one that caused the crash, the top is dirty, I wore it on Saturday. So now today I'm wearing something that I'm not happy with and I'm feeling that I may never be able to go to that yoga class again.

Monday, September 25, 2006

moving in...

Well, the boy & I spent all weekend talking about it, and have decided that he will move in. He's got to let his landlord know so it will likely be at the beginning of November. He practically lives at my place most of the time anyways, and this way we will be able to save a lot of money, - I'm going to take Jagular's suggestion and get him to chip in for the internet, as I know he wants to have it. That will make my blogging much easier, especially since I'm getting much busier at work and just don't have the time to read and comment on everyone's blogs during office hours! - I also think we're ready to go back to that step - we had previously owned a house together for a year, but decided we weren't ready and so we sold it and went our separate ways, and for the last 3 years have been living apart - we've both grown and our relationship is much better because of the time we spent apart.

It will be hard adjusting though as Martha & I have gotten used to having the condo to ourselves, and 750 sq.ft. is not a lot of room for 2 people and a cat. We talked about selling my place and getting another place together, but I think for now, we'll stick it out where we are, it will help us save money and we can be sure this time instead of jumping into buying a place together and having to go through all that heartache again.

Its funny though because the first time around, I was totally all about moving in, it couldn't happen fast enough for me, but this time, I'm much more hesitant about it, I'm sure because I was hurt in the past, but its interesting how your views change as you get older, I'm much more independant now and don't feel like I 'need' to live with him to be ok.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

so busy...

I am so busy right now, no time to post, I really should get internet at home so that I can post from my couch instead of from my desk while I'm supposed to be working. Not a lot new with me, I think the boy wants to move in, he's been hinting about it for a little while, so we're going to have to talk about it and figure it out. It would really help me with the budgeting as I wouldn't have to pay for everything myself. He's going to be here all weekend so I guess we'll figure it out.

Friday, September 15, 2006

more dress shopping...


Apparently my duties as a Maid of Honour are far from complete. The dress that we already picked out and were measured for is apparently not the right colour, and so I have to go back this weekend to look at another one. From the pictures (to the right) I've received, I'm not too pleased about it, I think the cut and the fabric will be a lot less flattering, but maybe I'm wrong, I guess I'll know tomorrow.

So tonight, I'm off to do the long drive up to their place, and then the longer drive tomorrow to the bridal store. I've got a big weekend of riding in the car and doing things I don't really want to do, as you can see, I'm really excited about this!

I'm super excited for next week though as I am a TV junkie, and all of the new shows startnext week, so I'll spend the better part of my evenings on the couch catching up on all of my favourite characters' lives!

At least its something to look forward to while I'm in bridal hell this weekend!

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

what's wrong with being me...

Why is it that people always want you to be like them, even if they're not happy? I am a bit of an anomaly amongst my friends. Almost all of them are married, have kids, or both and they are constantly trying to get me to become 'one of them'.

The married ones talk about how its so great to be married and feel secure, (although the girls are constantly worried that their husbands might cheat at any moment) that their wedding was the best day of their lives (but they spent a fortune on a giant wedding dress, and food for 200 of their 'closest friends' and are still in debt because of it) and they can't imagine spending their lives with anyone else (I see them checking out other people when we go out).

The ones with kids tell me how they feel so much closer to their partner now that they have a child together (even though they seem to spend so much less time together) and that there's nothing like the love and joy you feel for your child (while constantly complaining about how much of an expense and emotionial drain their children are) and that life is so much better now that they are parents (I just don't see how getting up at 3am to feed a screaming baby seems better than getting a full nights sleep).

Every time I see any of these friends, they spend the entire time probing as to why 'the boy' and I are not married, asking if we are thinking about having kids soon, asking why we are waiting, and delaying the wedded bliss and joyful family life that they are all experiencing. But then in the next breath, they are complaining about their husbands, venting about their children and saying how they wish they could just have 5 minutes for themselves.

It drives me crazy, I'm happy with my life, I don't see the need to be married and I'm not ready to have kids. Eventually I'd like to experience it all, but its not as if I'm 40 and am running out of time, I'm 26, 'the boy' is 28, we've got a good 10 years before we really have to start worring about the fact that we may end up un-wed and childless for the rest of our days, and really, with the way all of my friends talk, would that be so awful?

Friday, September 08, 2006

random friday thoughts...

I'm taking a cue from Lindsay, and posting some random things for today.


1. I FINALLY got my hair done, it was so bad that when I sat down in the chair, my hairdresser said 'oh. my. god. how have you been walking around in public like this for so long' pretty bad when someone says that to you! I think because she felt so bad for me, she took an extra long time making it look fabulous, and then she straightened it!! That's the best part because I can't do that on my own!



2. I'm going to see my best friend this weekend, she has a 1-year old daughter, who I adore, and who has just learned to say my name, apparently she walks around the house saying 'kate, kate, kate, kate'. I LOVE her, here's a picture of her in all her cuteness



3. I've discovered a new band I love - The Fray, they were featured on Grey's Anatomy last night, and I am in love!


4. There are some amazing people in this world who I have had the pleasure of meeting here on my blog, people who I would have otherwise never had the opportunity to meet, and for that I am extremely grateful, they are fun, they make me smile every day, and are truly an inspiration.

5. Here's a fun, inspiring quote for Friday, have a great weekend, I'll be back Monday!

'I spent a long time trying to find my center until I looked closely one night & found it had wheels & moved easily in the slightest breeze, so now I spend less time sitting and more time sailing.'

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

a long time coming...

Well, my mortgage is officially re-financed. I didn't get as much as I was hoping for so I won't be able to pay everything off, I'm about $2,000 short, but its a great start and I'm feeling much better about my situation. I will be putting together a proper budget for myself and starting it officially on October 1st (after I pay off my credit cards and am able to start fresh with my monthly bills etc.

I decided to keep the jacket. I know it may not be the wisest financial decision, but I do really love it and I did need to get a new winter jacket this year as my old one is white and over the past 3 years has turned into a very ugly yellowish-grayish-brownish colour. But I have vowed not to shop for the rest of September to make up for the amount I spent on it. I have to get used to the budgeting and if I spend all of my budgeted money on one thing, then I'm done and if that means missing out on something else that I want, then that's what I have to do.

Yesterday when I checked my mail, I found the best surprise! A package all the way from Australia!!! :-) This is the first time I've ever gotten mail from so far away, so I was extremely excited. Karina sent me some Mary Kay samples and a book 'Gazumped!' which I am very excited to read. Thank you so much Karina!! Here are some pictures of what I got, my cat 'Martha' was extremely interested and would not let me take the pictures without her!That's Martha's tail in the corner, and this is all the cool stuff I got!Here she is trying to attack the bag it came in

And here she is stealing the bag!

Friday, September 01, 2006

step away from the light...

Forgive me bloggers, for I have sinned.

Last night, I had an overwhelming urge to shop, so I went to the mall (which has just been renovated and is absolutely beautiful) and, being a responsible shopaholic, did a lot of looking around, trying on, but not purchasing, then I bought a birthday gift for my niece ($28.74), its the cutest little brown dress with a little tie polka dot belt and a striped undershirt to go with it from H&M, very appropriate for her, she's 1.

Then I did some more wandering and window shopping and was starting to feel very good about myself and my ability to walk the mall without purchasing. And then, from across the hall, there it was, I had one of those movie moments, where its all shiny and music is playing, and you are just completely drawn towards something and you have no control.

That was me. It was ridiculous. I. Had. No. Control. I purchased.

A beautiful chocolate brown, down filled puffy winter coat. Its short and has the cutest pockets on the front, and a super fluffy fur lined hood. I LOVE it. (I tried to find a picture online, but its not on the website) It was $148.19

I am a bad bad bad girl. I only slightly regret it, because as I said, I LOVE it. But, the boy is going to be really upset with me.